Yes, anything.
Sometimes i picture it, all the things i would do to prove i really mean it. Anything You ask.
In many ways i already do it for You, hurt myself to in some way to feel just a bit more worthy of Your affection, as if i did it just for You.
The worst part is, i never ask for anything back. i wouldn't want to.
This is all a lie, of course, as i ask quite often for things like Your time, reassurance, and attention. i'm happy with very little, i tell myself again and again. i will it to be true, if it's not then i must face the fact that i am a horribly selfish and greedy person when it comes to You. i've often wondered why it is that You don't spend every moment of the day talking to me. What kind of a question is that? Of course You have better things to do than talk with me, but the truth of the matter is there could be nothing better to me than to talk to You. Completely a fault of my own, the ways in which i let You affect me and control aspects of my life all too unknowingly.
The very act of writing this, that i've taken time from my day when i ought to do anything else than indulge in something so worthlessly fulfilling, is a testament to that very fact.
i think about holding Your hand, about bleeding out next to You as You hold me firm and stable. i think about cold damp skin on mine and the sound of my heartbeat slowly dulling until things are finally quiet. i think of everything i could have done and should have done when i had the chance. We're both happy now. i'm happy. You're happy. i'm happiest when You're happy. If that means without me, i'll gladly go far away.